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morally outraged

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This morning's exercises were interrupted by a drill. There are few things I hate more than calisthenics but I would definitely have to say that trying to get Caerleon to do anything in an orderly fashion is one of them. Campion went into hysterics, Kyteler lost track of everything else, and if Zeller hadn't stepped in to help Loveday, I would have had to.

Rachel Zeller is horrid...but efficient. I have no doubt that she will be a truly excellent constable; and if she does go to Palestine to be a heroine of her people, the Arabs will leave of their own accord, if they have any brains. (I have to say, listening to Zeller, I do understand a bit why some people don't trust the Jews. In wartime, she ought to think first of Britannia, and not of "her people". But I have no doubt that Zeller will do what has to be done, whatever that may be.)

Celerity is being difficult. She doesn't understand that being quite so friendly with Greengrass is going to reflect badly upon her and that Cynthia won't countenance it. Greengrass' father is a traitor and her brother is mad. Felicity continues to associate with her, but Felicity is her cousin. It's different for Celerity. Besides, people are talking about Celerity now. Never mind that Saint-Germain and Ducas are the real scandals. At any rate she needs to understand that Antares can't possibly marry someone who associates with such persons voluntarily. I do not want to marry Antares. But I care about his career as I would my own.

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sick

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I feel awful. Just awful. Marlie Watkins dragged us all out of bed this morning at an ungodly hour and made us join Caerleon for morning exercises and drills. I've been wheezing all morning, there must be something growing outside, or maybe it's mould from all the wet. Ever since we let Caerleon move in down here we've had to be extra vigilant because they don't think about wet things, they don't think about mildew and mould, and they do their assigned chores because they have to, but half the time they do them badly, hoping we'll just give up and let them all off the hook. I can't breathe. I sound like Cynthia's little brother. Who would probably be dead already if he had to live down here with all these apes.

How can Marlie Watkins always be so damned cheerful?

The Frealafs have nipped off to the woods like good little traitors. The Leffoys and Malaspinas are gone, but unfortunately, the Malaspina Company came back. Therefore, Vincenti and Rasputina are here. Vincenti wanted a duel. He wanted to overhear what I was saying to Barbara and he would have wanted to fight me for that. He's honour bound to defend the Leffoys. I suppose after they do whatever horrible thing they're all planning he'll be too busy to bother about me, but I can't wish that on our country just to get him off my back. And Rasputina's comments about my weight are offensive. It's not as though she doesn't have appetites that are out of control.

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vindicated

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This started out as an absolutely horrible day. First there was nothing but porridge for breakfast. Then a smelly goat broke into Miss Proudfoot's and stole Jessica's watercress sandwiches right off her plate!

However, everyone who has laughed at me for years and years has finally begun to admit that I may have a point about the homunculi. People don't take Gemina Dee very seriously because she is a shut-in, but they don't understand that she has access to the entire Dee library and she hasn't anything to do but read their old records. And my aunt Jezebel (who tells me things I can't tell anyone else, for she is Doctor Taverner's confidential secretary) says that the homunculi are quite dangerous, and susceptible to qliphotic influence, and that it simply isn't safe to have so many of them in any one place. She has never been wrong in her life. Unfortunately I cannot tell anyone else about that, nor can I tell them about the things I saw my Grandfather make the homunculi do.

However, all day long, I have noticed various disorderly miscreants of the Caerleon stripe conferring with the homunculi, and somehow they are getting them to obey! And I have finally caught one of them letting someone out of the school after curfew! I will of course be proceeding directly to the Inquisitor's office with this information. We'll see if they don't take my advice a bit more seriously now. (Perhaps I shall stop by MacAlister's office first, in order to make my point to her.)

(Auntie Jezebel will be so proud of me, too!)

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angry

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I am unbelievably disappointed in Professor Goyle; he's really showing his true colours. I submitted all my ideas for improving our school's security to Barty, and yet I was not asked to be on the Squad, but that horrible foreign girl who goes about carrying guns wherever she goes is right in the middle of everything, and so is Charis Leffoy, and so is Endymion Dashwood.

If there's anything more humiliating than finding out that people think Endymion Dashwood deserves authority more than I do, I can't imagine what it might be.

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giddy

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Today is the first day of my last year at school, and even though MacAlister beat me out for Head Girl, I am still an important part of the student government. This is going to be my best year yet, and I’m not going to let any silly little brats get in my way. I am going to be Barty’s right-hand woman. I’ve got all the St Hilda’s prefects except Bradbury and Watkins where I want them, and they are at least good citizens. Our college will be in perfect order this year. We will win prizes, and if we don’t, it will only be because Barty and Cynthia have beaten us out for them fair and square (we all know Cynthia, not that neither-fish-nor-fowl Leffoy by-blow who has got both mundane and faerie blood, is the real force of order in Avalon).

It will be glorious. Everything will run smoothly. Barty and I will have everyone drilling, and if those fools in the Pelby and Caerleon Tower can’t find their arses with both hands, it certainly won’t be our fault. I’ve always said that with Antares as prefect, if Pelby can’t stay organised, it’s clearly a defect of nature.

I am looking forward to seeing more of Felicity. She’s been ignoring us all summer. I know she got a better internship than I did, but it wasn’t for lack of hard work on my part so she shouldn’t be so terribly proud of herself for simply knowing who to chat up and what to say to them. I’m sure Cynthia and Jessica and Amalthea and Celerity feel exactly as I do. I don’t think she’s spared a word for anyone from school except Reynard Saint-Germain, and we all know they don’t exactly talk a lot.

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enraged

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I am so FURIOUS. I cannot believe what that wicked child has done. I am supposed to be looking forward to Cynthia's party. I am having my own party afterward! I have the perfect pink dress, with lots of bows and ruffles! I can't believe what Celerity's done. I am the reason people in sixth form take her seriously. After all, she did get beaten out for the prefect's badge by Amalthea Flint. It could only be more humiliating if it had been Goulston or Dolloway.

I should have agreed to let Gil escort me when he asked, but I really thought Antares was going to ask me. At least Celerity doesn't like sex. There, she has no hope of competing with me.

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bouncy

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Endymion Dashwood (that disgusting little SNEAK of a blackmailer) is engaged to poor little Celerity, who assures me that she’s actually pleased about it. I shall write more later about this when I have a chance to collect my thoughts. Jessica and I dropped her horrid little sister off at home because we cleverly allowed her to eat as much ice cream as she wanted (her mother is obsessed with weight control and gives me dirty looks just for existing) and she made herself sick, and now, we are here, and she is staying over, and we shall have dinner up in my room away from the tiresome APs and their guests, and drinkies!

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angry

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That horrid little invert thinks he can blackmail me.

I wonder if Susie and Addie know he's got back with their brother. He's got Hadrian into so much hot water over the last four years his middle name might just as well be soup. He is the reason Hadrian Kyteler's own aunt chose Jeannot to be prefect instead of him.

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hopeful

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I am so EXCITED about Cynthia's party!!! ♥ ♥ ♥ It's going to be the event of the year. People will still be talking about it at the Hallowe'en Feast!

I am going to lunch today with Gil and Corny and Barbara and we are going to have some drinkies at the club. It will be lots of fun. Who knows what could happen? I do wish Jessica and Cynthia could come, but Cynthia isn't allowed to go out for drinkies and Jessica can't get out of the house without that nasty little sister of hers. Ah well. I can only stomach so much of being supportive.

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devious

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I am soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo depressed today. I haven't heard anything from Antares since we had tea. I should invite him and his auntie over, but my parents are being complete boobs about the last meeting I had here, since we are supposed to be in mourning.

Barbara Bones and Celerity Warrington and I went to luncheon with Addie Kyteler, because for Caerleon she is awfully civilised, though no Josette, and her father is very important, although he is not our sort. We have a lot of fun with Addie Kyteler. Because we all understand how difficult things have been for her lately. We would not have been true friends to her if we had not explained it all. Poor Addie. I don't know what I'd do if I were in her situation. But we want her to know that she has our support. (It's amazing what people will tell you if you tell them how understanding you are. It really is. I had no idea exactly what we were being so sympathetic to her about, and then she told us. I wonder if we explained it all to Jessica, would she agree to befriend a relatively civilised Caerleon? Josette might help if we were careful how we brought it up.)

Also, I think we need to be more supportive of Cassie Campion. After all, she lost her parents, and they were among my Grandfather's supporters. Yes, I definitely think we need to be more supportive of Cassie. And Addie would like that, too, since they're friends.

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happy

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Antares' aunt Gemma is adorable. (And very odd, but I was warned about that, and such a dear.) I really like her--she is one of the few people who understands how truly dangerous homunculi are. She has some gauche habits, but there are worse people one could be related to, like any of the Leffoys. I really quite like her. She serves the most delicious tea, and there was so much lovely food. Cynthia's brother Ethan was there. He's grown up quite a lot and doesn't seem as though he'll go astray like Dylan did.

Antares is absolutely dreamy, but he always is. He isn't terribly motivated to be productive, but then he doesn't have to be. I'd be happy just to be able to look at him whenever I wanted--I'm a career woman, after all, and someone is going to have to take care of my children, because children annoy me ever so much--they're so unruly and noisy.

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enraged

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MINERVA MACALISTER?!?!?!?!?!?

She's pleasant and intelligent enough, I suppose, and she makes good marks, but the students for whom she's responsible are simply animals!!!!!!!

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worried

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There's been a mistake. It's nearly tea-time, and my Head Girl badge hasn't arrived yet. I don't understand what can be keeping it; my school letter is already here. There's no-one else they can possibly choose. Of the rising seventh-year prefects, Marvell is a duellist (who got the duelling club shut down last year because she and Malaspina had so many vendettas), MacAlister's house is out of control, and Wurfel is too busy slagging it off with Thibault's crowd. I am the only one who maintains order.

Something is terribly wrong. I wonder if there has been an attack upon the post. That is exactly the sort of dastardly thing that von Thorwald's agents would do. Grandfather was right; we ought to have stayed out of this war. I don't know why he trusted Leffoy with his message. Those people not only aren't even properly human, they can't decide if they're male or female. It's disgusting.

I cannot seem to shake this bloody cough. The air is so damp here. Mother keeps saying my jumper doesn't fit. I have no idea why. The buttons all work. Also, my kitten is missing. The blasted things never stay put like they're supposed to, and instead of gamboling charmingly with balls of yarn, they always seem to throw up in your shoes or unravel your favourite jumper.